In the game, causes of death included things like cholera, dysentery, measles, typhoid, broken legs, drowning while fording streams, and getting your food and livestock supplies jacked by some asshole thief... it was a tough world for pioneers.
If we were to remake Oregon Trail, with relevance to 2014, the death scenarios would be a little more like:
- John died of Ebola.
- Cam drowned in a lake, because Apple Maps directed him to drive into it.
- Jenna has an anaphylactic reaction to soy milk in her non-fat Starbucks latte.
- Edna is blinded by pepperspray during a Stanley Cup riot.
- Kandi gets sepsis from a botched "third boob" implant surgery.
- Gurpreet was run over while texting and walking into traffic.
- Kristy's naked photos on iCloud were leaked online, so she committed suicide.
And because I couldn't find any other fitting photo for this post, here's another in my series, The Dead Bird Diaries.