She giggled endlessly at the replays of Left Shark drunkenly dancing out of sync during the Superbowl halftime show, so this was the perfect drawing and pickup line for her (credit to the anonymous person that started this internet meme).
I take no credit for this cheesey line.
But this right here... this cheesiest of bad grade 6 poetry? That was all me. That's right folks, I'm laying the gauntlet down and challenging any grade 6-er to a poetry slam.
The Intent: between the free flowers I grabbed yesterday from some dude on the street (?!), and this "thicker than Cheez Whiz" poem, she's gonna melt. Like chocolate (the milk kind, not dark)... while in a hot car... while also in my hand... Because obviously, melty chocolate in a car is kinda gross. But chocolate melting in one's hand is apparently a good thing? Who comes up with these figures of speech?! Anyways, moving on...
The Reality: Anita's not awake yet, but I'll update this with her actual reaction after... Stay tuned for part 2 of 'Will it melt?'
Link (there's a pun brewing here, you'll see when you click) to last year's V-day card.