Keep Calm and Dickhead On!

I'm particularly proud to say that I have PERSONALLY disappointed a distinguished (more like DICKstinguished) member of our provincial Legislative Assembly today. I excerpt the relevant portion of his email cc'd to me, below:

"I’m a bit disappointed that Mr Mach wasn’t interested enough to follow up on..."

Now the details of who this MLA is, or how he arrived at this statement aren't important, but if I were to draw an analogy, it would go something like this. Man goes to the Fire Department to report a robbery, gets upset when Fire Department explains that the Police are actually the proper place to register the report/ complaint, but they would at least be willing to help connect him with the Police. And then rather than going to the Police as one would expect, the man instead sends a snarky email to the Fire Department for not showing more interest in said robbery.

Good job, dipshitstick. Was basic comprehension not a part of your degree in Dumbassery?! BTW, how IS the Liberal Party of AB faring these days?* Like 5 farts in a strong breeze? Quelle Surprise! With Steinbergs (Arrested Development reference) such as yourself holding the torch, it's a wonder your political party hasn't been flushed like a runny deuce, let alone continue to have any representation in the Legislature at all. I wonder, what do you tell yourselves after each crushing electoral defeat? Keep calm and dickhead on? Cause that's the only way I can rationalize today's ridiculous misplaced condescending email...

Have a nice day, shitcan! Anyways, enough of me being snide and bitter. On to things that make me happy: BEER!!!

We took a free tour through the Widmer Brothers Brewery in Portland, saw their production facility, and drank some free beer samples. It was pretty awesome, considering the cost ($0).




Free beer tastings, and you keep the glass as a souvenir after!




Huge silos housing their barley malt.


Various barley and specialty malts used in their brewing processes.


Samples of their extruded bittering hops.


Quality Control!


Enormous fermentation tanks. Double walled, with glycol cooling sleeves inside to maintain temperatures.


One more photo, for scale.









*And just in case anyone mistakenly gets the impression that I'm a right leaning conservative, sorry, not so much. I'm merely taking a 'low hanging fruit' stab at the Liberals (and their pathetic 5 seat showing in the current AB Legislature) because this particular MLA thought he could get on a dick soapbox and expect to NOT face pushback.

Broken Bad - US Politics

As the clownish partisan politicking of our neighbours to the south accelerates them (and collaterally, EVERYONE else) down the toiletbowl of western decline and irrelevance, I find myself not caring about the real life fallout but rather pondering the theoretical 'what if' impact on our tv landscape. Think about it: Walter White gets cancer in 2008. If Obamacare (THE very crux of the Republican/Democratic pissing contest) was in place at that time, the world would never have been introduced to Heisenberg, blue meth, illicit uses for hydrofluoric acid, mercury fulminate, Ricin, and Lily of the Valley poisons. He would've simply gone in for chemo treatments (paid for through affordable health care), and went on with his sad sack story of a domestic life without ever having gotten mixed up with Jessie and the meth trade.

So while it's true that the US political zoo is a 2 ringed circus of stubborn asses and slightly less stubborn asses, we do also have that very circus to thank for five brilliant seasons of Breaking Bad, arguably one of the best shows on TV. EVER.

Okay, the series finale (pvr'd last night) beckons, and I have to say a tearful goodbye to Walt, Jessie, Saul, et al. Back with a photo post another time.

-G

Portlandia, Part 3 - Beaches and bikini bodies

The title of this post should actually be Oregonia, as these photos were taken during the two days we drove out of the city and explored the Columbia Gorge, and then the Oregon Coast. While at the coast, we hit up a beach to soak in the sun and I got a chance to show off my bikini body. Admit it, you're picturing me in a Borat style mankini right now. And even if you weren't before I wrote that, you are now. HUUUUURRRRLL... Sorry friends, what has been envisioned in the mind's eye, CANNOT be unenvisioned. You're welcome.




Latourell Falls.






Wahkeena Falls.


Follow the signs to see Herman the Sturgeon at Bonneville Fish Hatchery.


The charming little theatre in downtown Astoria.


From the top of the Astoria Column.




I saw two gals with this type of tattoo at the Astoria market. I don't get this - why do women tattoo faux stockings onto their legs? It'd be like me tattooing a pair of tighty whiteys onto my nether regions. Sexy...


The BEST dungeness crab salad. EVER. At Clemente's in Astoria.


Garlic Nori fries with house made ketchup. Perfect accompaniment to the above crab salad.


The Haystack Rock at Cannon Beach. If you get up close, you can see puffins and seabirds nesting on the cliffs.




Human Starfish.


Starfish starfish.


Barnacles.


The flight home, via Seattle/Tacoma. This has to be the most gridlike city in the world. Aside from the waterfront areas, everything is laid out in a perfect grid.

Seventh Summit of the Season

We scrambled up Mt. Edith yesterday on an unusually warm mid September Sunday. Total elevation gain of 1100m to the summit, and round trip distance heading in through Cory Pass and rounding the mountain back down through Edith Pass is about 13km. The hike in to Cory Pass is steep, but beautiful, and the hike out through Edith Pass features different terrain and forest views for a nice ending to the day. The final ascent to the North peak summit from Cory Pass though, is an entirely different story - it's only a short 200m gain from the pass, but features a lot of loose scree and a ridiculous chimney (helmet advisable) to awkwardly make your way up.


View of iconic Mt. Rundle from the initial trail to Cory Pass.








The ridge from Cory Pass to the North peak.


Looking back at Cory Pass.






The awkward climb up the chimney.


Note: having loose rocks fall on you while ascending this feature is a little bit scary.


Some scrambling on the final push to the summit.
















We normally have celebratory beers on the summit, but the chimney ascent made us a bit wary about trying to descend with liquor in our system so we returned to the pass to drink up.


Continuing past Cory Pass (literally circling around the entirety of Mt. Edith).




Scraped knees, shins, and elbows, a rockfall on the way up, and an ungraceful fall on my ass on the way down. Not my best day.


A view of Mt. Louis.