3 inch noodle of slobber

You know how sometimes, you awake to discover with a 60/40 mixture of horror and embarrassment that there is a small wet puddle on your chest, and a drooping length of saliva hanging freely from your slightly slack maw? The drool, slowly descending, a result of your body's relaxed state during a momentary nap in which you've dozed into that dreamlike torpor of half-consciousness where you are vaguely aware of your surroundings, but everything appears as somewhat surreal and grotesque. Sound unfamiliar? Okay, maybe it's just me.

So riding the transit is a big part of my day. Not because I enjoy it, but as with the other bajillion commuters jostling for the finite real estate of the bus in the mornings, I do it because I can't afford parking in downtown Cowtown. Meaning, I often see the same people every morning. The sounds of their jackets rustling, or music leaking out of their too loud/ poorly fitted earbuds, and their occasional conversations serve as my own personal army of bedtime storytellers, while the bus rocks me to sleep on my way to work. Nice, right? Except there's something incredibly shocking, horrifying, and embarrassing about awaking on a bus to discover you are in mid drool, and must make that loud slurping motion to rewind the 3 inch noodle of slobber abseiling from your mouth, threatening to join the kiddie pool sized puddle already glistening on the front of your jacket. Yes folks, in the hierarchy of the medieval bus riding populace, I claim the crown of court jester. If you can't be the elegant dame, dammit it all the hell, I'm gonna be the fool and be it well.

Okay, completely unrelated photos tonight, but I only had time to scan a couple frames of film. These are our friends, Marc and Ana, who live and teach English not far outside of Tokyo. We met up for a day and hung out in Shinjuku and Shibuya, camera shopped, ate Korean food, drank beer, did some more shopping, drank sake from a juice box, ate smoked oysters, and drank some more beer.

First two photos: Kiev 88, Arsat 80mm lens, Kodak Tri-X 400. Developed in Rodinal for 7:00min. Remaining photos - Fuji X100s.


Ana san.


Marcu san.


Fish Pastry!


Regular Marc


Marc-a-marc-a-marc-a-chameleon




Ana decides this restaurant isn't good enough for us. Move on.


We settled on a Korean restaurant.


Beeru!!


Marc's new favourite backpack.


Look at that beautiful light of golden hour.


Sake... from a juice box... bought from 7-Eleven.

Life drawing and more - a week of art in Ottawa

Another round of "Woo!! Naked Wednesdays" - more appropriately known as 'Life Drawing at Sandy Hill' - in cold, desolate, wintery Siberia Ottawa last Wednesday. I was pretty disappointed in my results at this session, but whatever. I blame it on the cold, desolate, wintery climate of Siberia... my fingers were frozen and frostbitten to death. In fact, if digits reacted to cold like other certain appendages, they'd have shrunk to embarrassing pre-pubescent sizing.

Sketches done with the Pentel Pocket brush pen, Shin-han Touch markers, and a bit of white chalk.







While disappointed in my figure drawing, I was happy with how my package of film to the lab turned out. I guess I should just stick to sketching animals.

Selfie Sundays, and Photographing the Pupils - Part V

It's taken a week, but I've started to emerge from the thick cocoon of jet lag. Sorry, phishing telescammers, you had your chance to take advantage of me while I was lost in the fog of timezone disorientation. Too late now, that free cruise has sailed...

I had a couple of frames left on a roll of film to burn, so I shot a couple selfies with the same camera used to shoot the student portraits shown further below. Selfie Sundays!





Rather than ease myself back into the routine, I flew straight to Ottawa a day after coming home, and after a week of meetings, I flew back home to teach a DSLR course. Here are some portraits of my students, taken with the Kiev88 and Arsat 80mm f/2.8, on Kodak Tri-X. Developed in Rodinal 1+24, @ 68 deg. F for 7:00 min.

2litresofsoysauce - season 7

Hello and welcome to 2 Litres of Soy Sauce - season 7. We've just returned from our SE Asia vacation hiatus, and I thought I'd start the year off with a funny little animation, made from a burst series of photos taken of my cousin and two friends. We were at a beach in Mui Ne, Vietnam, where Kushan, AJ, and Vi decided they were going to do a coordinated jumping photo. Except... coordination is not exactly their strong suit. If 'synchronized jumping on a beach' was a sport, these three would barely go home with a participation ribbon.

"Okay, everyone, 1... 2... 3... Jump! LOL! WTF was that?"



Hope you all had a nice start to your new year! Stay tuned for much more goofiness and photo shenanigans in the coming weeks.

A Year in Photos - Where did 2014 go?!!

I think this will be my last blog post for the year, as we fly out to Vietnam shortly, arriving 3 days later.  Yes, Three.Full.Days.Later.  The beauty of flying via points is that you get to take the incredibly scenic milk run to Houston, before departing for Tokyo, and then finally arriving in Ho Chi Minh on Christmas Eve.  Apparently, Santa thinks I've been a terrible person this year, and gifted me this steaming pile of a flight itinerary.

On the bright side, we'll be celebrating my brother's wedding later this week in Ho Chi Minh.  Do you think they do conga lines at weddings over there?   I ask only because I really want to make a lame pun about Viet Conga lines.  Ha.  Uggghhh...

Anyways, as I reflect back on 2014, I thought I would revisit some photos taken throughout the past year and a bit.  Our year was more serious than usual, with the passing of a dear family member, and there were less shenanigans and adventures than years past.  But photographically, I've grown, and my style has definitely evolved.  Looking forward to seeing what this coming year has in store for us.

If I don't talk with you all beforehand, have yourselves a happy holiday season, filled with love, laughter, and lesbians.  (I just wanted to see if anyone actually reads what I write.) If lesbians are your thing, then I hope you get your fill for Christmas.

Oh, and because I'm a sucker for milestones, this is my 501st blog entry here. Who knew I'd be so prolific. While about 495 of them are pure crap, I hope you've been at least mildly entertained by one or two.

See you in Oh-Fifteen!


Previous annual mosaics: 2013 | 2012 | 2011 | 2010 | 2009

Custom Holiday Bokeh (warning - PENISES ahead)

Christmas lights means it's time for a little custom holiday bokeh. The airplane and heart shaped custom bokeh were cut out by yours truly, while the remaining shapes and words (PENIS!) were courtesy of a surprise package from Marc. I was going to say "courtesy of Marc's package", but we gotta draw the line somewhere. Santa's watching your every move, you know.

These were shot at the X-mas lights display at Confederation Park.




CAMERA BOKEH!!! SO MANY CAMERAS!!!


Marc's package... contained this Penis bokeh cutout.


SO MUCH PENIS-KEH!!!


Camera, in Japanese.






Ma-ku (Marc), in Japanese.


Camera tree!

If you're new to photography, and are interested in custom bokeh, check out this post from a million years ago.

Beer and Cameras? Okay, TAKE MY MONEY, DAMMIT!

Beer? Check. Camera? Check. Okay, TAKE MY MONEY, DAMMIT! This beer practically has my name written all over it. New Belgium Brewing has combined two of my vices into a 6-pack of irresistible temptation. They had me at the camera on the label, but then they went and brewed a delicious unfiltered wheat beer to go inside the bottles. New Belgium - 1. My Wallet - 0.







The camera featured on this label is a Kodak Instamatic 104, from the early 60's. I don't own one, but I feel like I need to now. Damn you, New Belgium Brewing!!!

Photographing the Pupils - Part IV

My latest students graciously agreed to sit for some film portraits last night, continuing my personal portrait series, "Photographing the Pupils". This will be the last set of students I teach this year, as we head out to Asia in a couple weeks, so I'm really happy with how these turned out so contrasty and moody.

Shot with the Kiev 88, Arsat 80mm f/2.8 lens, and long expired Kodak T-Max 400. Developed in Rodinol 1:24, at 68 deg. F for 13:00 (pushed one stop).

Acceptable Behaviours for Semi-Professional Office Environments for Dummies

I realize there isn't an "Acceptable Behaviours for Semi-Professional Office Environments for Dummies" book, but similar to farting in an elevator, washing your feet in the sink seems like one of those unspoken DON'T DO IT practices.

Okay, so rewind. Around 2:00pm this afternoon, I've had far too much double double steeped tea and other liquids for one day, and head towards the men's room down the hallway from our office. As I enter the two stall + one urinal washroom, I'm slightly taken aback by the strange sight of a dude standing barefoot on a wad of paper towels, with his other foot plopped in the sink where people wash their hands (and some folks brush their teeth in). For a second, I confusedly thought I'd accidentally wandered into the washroom of some ghetto fast food joint in a sketchy part of town. That would have seemed par for the course. But no, this was an employee (I see him fairly often on my floor) in a government building, with his khaki pant legs rolled up, standing with one foot in the waist height sink, washing his feet. And there are a set of showers just down the hall, so what would prompt him to think, "I need to take off my shoes and socks in this washroom right now, and scrub me some toejam into the sink" ...?

People are strange.


Since we're on the topic of people's feet in public, here's a dude in New York City, putting socks on.


A couple minutes later, and he hasn't made much progress.


And a few more minutes after that. He's swapped feet, but still appears to be struggling with this task.