Monday, February 29, 2016

Face vs. Shovel - A Leap Day Cautionary Tale

For Leap Day, I was being a good husband, shovelling the driveway, slick with a sheen of ice camouflaged by a light dusting of fluffy snow. I wanted to clean off the white stuff so that the missus wouldn't have to after work, as I was departing for Ottawa for the week. Upon finishing, I congratulated myself on a job well done, before promptly slipping and falling awkwardly while on my victory march back towards the garage, where I intended to stow my trusty shovel. Sadly, said traitorous shovel would smack me square in the mouth as I freefell to the icy pavement, leaving me with a swollen upper lip and a gnarly cut inside my mouth that hurt only slightly less than my bruised ego. I cussed out the shovel (henceforth known as Judas) as violently as it had struck my unexpecting face. I'm sure onlookers would have laughed at the absurdity of a grown man yelling (literally, YELLING) at a shovel.

And so off to the airport I went, biting my upper lip in a permanent mock imitation of a person in thought, as a way of hiding from passersby the embarrassing end result of a one sided bar brawl with a household tool. You better hope my inner rage cools before I get home shovel, or I'm gonna introduce you to my friend, Mr. Wood Chipper.

Thanks for nothing, Leap Day. First, a shovel to the face. Second, someone informs me that being a salaried civil servant means I'm working for free today. Third, I get stuck in line at airport security behind someone whose 'bodily aroma' was akin to a stale microwaved blue cheese croissant. Fourth, buddy in the seat ahead of me decides the plane is his own personal lazy boy, reclining right into my lap.

And since we're on the topic of working for free for the state, here's a photo of me with the original Commies, Comrades Marx and Engels:

Marx and Engels

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

_cacophonous death wail of a geriatric peacock_

This weekend, we noted a loud squealing emanating from the depths of our basement, like the cacophonous death wail of a geriatric peacock. Heading down to investigate the trill shrieking, we found that the source of said sonic assault was our furnace. Being rather mechanically un-inclined, we were forced to call someone to examine and service the unit, and less than 60 minutes of work later, "Voila sir, here is your invoice for $1000." A massive TEN. ROBERT. BORDENS!!! <--That's the square faced fellow on the Canadian hundred dollar bill. All for less than an hour of actual work. Can you say LU... CRA.. TIVE. I should've gone into the Trades.

Below is a paperboard model of a castle I put together with my niece during her visit for Chinese New Year a couple weekends ago. Sometimes, I feel like our house is built to about this quality (ie: shoddy). But maybe that's just me still smarting from this furnace episode.

Paperboard Castle-1

Paperboard Castle-2

Paperboard Castle-3

Alright, time for bed. I have a full day of breaking rocks at hard labour prison camp tomorrow. Gotta pay off the furnace bill somehow...

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Sketches and Valentine's Day

I said I wanted to sketch more this year, so I started off the lunar new year with this one. It's not finished, nor did it turn out anything like it was supposed to, but I've alway admitted to being a hack at this art stuff. And because today is overly commercial Valentine's Day, I spent all of NO money cutting and pasting together a little card for Anita below. Or as I like to think of it, I made her something "priceless." Happy Hallmark Holiday to all, suckers! Now go spend some money on frivolous shiat for your boy/ girl/ it-friend and jumpstart our ruined economy... because you know, Kevin O'Leary's a fucking capitalist pig that won't do anything to help, no strings attached.

Sketch - Feb 2016-1

Valentines Day-1

Sunday, February 7, 2016

The Art of Hot Chocolate

YYC Hot Chocolate Fest is on all month throughout town, so we went to get our fill of rich and interesting takes on hot chocolate yesterday. Sadly, I was defeated after only two mugs of sugary goodness. Weak, I know. But we did cap off the evening with a house made uni (sea urchin) ice cream from Ikemen Ramen House, which was awesome.

YYC Hot Chocolate Fest-4
Blue Beary Hot Chocolate, and Matcha Latte, from Euphoria Cafe.

YYC Hot Chocolate Fest-3
The blueberry flavour was a nice touch. It tasted like eating chocolate covered blueberries.

YYC Hot Chocolate Fest-9
Turmeric and Black Pepper Hot Chocolate, from Red Bush Tea and Coffee Company.

YYC Hot Chocolate Fest-8
Fans of spiced chai would particularly like this concoction, with the turmeric and black pepper complimented with strong notes of cinnamon.

YYC Hot Chocolate Fest-6
House made Uni ice cream (Sea Urchin), from Ikemen Ramen Bar. It was expensive, but wow, incredibly balanced sweetness of the ice cream with the subtle flavour of the uni.

YYC Hot Chocolate Fest-7
She would have licked the bowl clean if we weren't in public.

YYC Hot Chocolate Fest-5

Thursday, February 4, 2016


Thursday Trudeaumania! I was lightly mocking Anita this morning when she went around our building stalking our Prime Minister... there was an awful lot of fawning, oohing and aah-ing from the ladies in the office, like a teen idol had arrived at a junior high school. But regardless of whether you like him or loathe him, he's got a hell of a lot more charisma than our previous PM. But then of course, the loading dock recycling bin had more charisma than His Steve-ness...

This shot was taken by Anita, as we joined the crowd of smartphone selfie seekers.

And this was my shot.

Despite my initial mockery, even I got a little star struck by this tall drink of water, and had to admire the warm reception the entire building gave him.