French Street Art and Images

So it should be fairly obvious now that I'm probably never going to get around to posting actual photos from France (ie: ones taken with a real camera), so I figured I could at least dump a bunch shot with the iPhone and processed with Instagram (cheating, I know). These are just a bunch of interesting street art, photos, and images seen throughout Lyon, Marseille, and Paris.

Paris Anonymous

Street photography is a genre that I don't often shoot, nor am I any good at it. But while we were in Paris, passersby backdropped against the many interesting streetscapes just called out to me to be photographed. On this trip, I brought the D300 and Kiev 88, neither of which are subtle cameras. So to capture these candid 'street' photos, I just shot with the iPhone. Like a NINJA. Ninja's use iPhones, yes?

The black and whites were captured inside the Charles De Gaulle airport terminal, while the colour shots were taken throughout Paris and Lyon.

A Sucker for All Things Camera

I'm a fiend for all things camera related. I don't think there's ever been a camera themed object I've encountered where I didn't think, 'OOOOOH!' So my brother-in-law bought me this retro styled rangefinder camera iPhone case, and yep, my reaction was a predictable, 'OOOOOOH!' This is in spite of the fact that using the case would turn an otherwise sleek phone into a bulky, unwieldy, clumsy brick that would require a fanny pack to carry it around. Calling all hipsters: I need you to make those cool again!

Proposed New Olympic Sport?

In the competitive spirit of the Olympics, I thought I'd take a stab at showcasing my own athletic talent in the 'how many Cheetos can you shove in your gullet at once' event. I set a new personal best of 9 (ie: this was my first attempt). Where's my participation ribbon?!


Clockwise from top left:
1) We give a whole new meaning to cheesy smiles
2) Some kind of foul-ish coffee flavoured tequila (I don't like coffee)
3) Yours truly setting a new personal best
4) A medium hoppy Belgian IPA that was quite yummy

And yes, in case you were wondering, the combo of random tequila based concoctions, beer, and cheetos made my head feel like a bag of ass the next morning when I awoke from my "passed out on the couch in a drunken stupor" state.

Dickginas of the world...

I'm quite proud of my little self tonight. Instead of getting punched and walking away, I punched back... albeit, it was more of a snarky open palmed slap than a punch, but whatever. I stood up for myself.

Okay, rewind and let me set some context. I did not actually get in a fight. I've been having a pissing contest with the community association in my neighbourhood because 1) they are a bunch of dickginas, and 2) yeah, that pretty much sums it up. I can't come up with anything more intelligent than a portmanteaux involving both male and female genitalia. Anyways, back to the story. The community association essentially sent us a letter saying we owed them 30 bucks, and that they demanded we immediately pay them. No explanation about why, for what, how the amount was arrived at, etc. Turns out, they claim to have done a title search on our property to figure out who owned it since the previous owner didn't inform them that he sold, and figured they could just bully us into paying for it. So after two letters (with escalating amounts owed), I thought, screw this. I'm going to write a snarky letter pushing back, and see what comes of it. Well boys and girls, it turns out that all it takes to cow someone who is bullying you is to write a sarcastic passive aggressive letter demanding to see the legal authority for which something is being asked of you. Then they send back a very apologetic, "We have reversed the charges and your balance owing is now zero, sorry for any incovenience this has caused" response. That's great, eff you very much.

I think I'm going to start writing more letters going forward. Dickginas of the world, be warned. A snarky letter with your name on it just may hit your desk in the near future.

Anita and I celebrating after winning a plush toy on the midway at Stampede.

Crabby, Shelly, and Crusty

We were grocery shopping yesterday, when I spotted these cute little live blue crabs in a bucket in the seafood section. I leaned in thinking I would say hello and be on my merry way, but noooooo, this one particular bastard decided he didn't appreciate being gawked at, so he jumped at me. Literally, he jumped out and snapped at me with his little pinchers, and so I thought, "Fine. You wanna play? I'm gonna eat you for supper. Yeah, and a couple of your buddies for good measure."

**Clockwise from top: Crabby the Crab, Shelly the Shellfish, and Crusty the Crustacean.

For the record, they were tiny crabs, so weren't worth the effort of trying to eat, even if you do like crab.

Quirky America

Religion and politics are generally topics I choose not to write about here, because we all know where that leads (finger wagging, hair pulling and other highly refined and sophisticated social behaviour)… oh don't pretend like you've never been tempted to shove your fingers in your ears and do the lalalalalalala while someone else was trying to convince you that Ketchup chips are WAAAAAAAYYYYAAAYAAAAYAAAY better than BBQ (they aren't). And that's not even a remotely controversial topic.

So in the wake of the Dark Knight Rises massacre in Colorado, I've chosen to not make an eloquent and well supported attempt to examine American culture surrounding gun control, for fear of it stirring up a serious debate. Instead, I'll just point out the absurdity of this contrast in the US:

Guns (responsible for 31,224 deaths in the US in 2007) = perfectly legal.

Kinder Surprise Eggs (responsible for an astonishing 6 choking related deaths worldwide between 1991 - 1998) = illegal. See this article for more info on how serious US border guards are about illegal Kinder Egg smuggling rings.

So the take home message is, murderous firepower to mow down masses of innocent movie goers? "HELLLLLLLL YEEEEAWWWWHHHH, we gots rights down here ya'll, don't you try and take away our freedom, ya freedom hating communist!" But chocolate covered eggs with a little toy inside? "Get the Tasers Jim, we gots us a smuggler to DEEEE-TAIN!"

*source of the stats quoted above come from Wikipedia. Now, I know, there's a strong possibility that these stats aren't fully referenced (don't believe everything you read on the interwebs). So take the death tolls (SIX vs. THIRTY ONE THOUSAND, TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY FOUR) with a very large grain of salt**.

**If you actually do question the validity of those very largely divergent stats, stop reading this blog and don't ever come back, cause you're a fucking moron. Thanks.


Photo totally unrelated to crap rant above. Taken during our fooding and beering adventure this past weekend at MKT.

Quirky Vancouver, pt. 2

On our way to the farmer's market, we left our hotel in downtown Vancouver on Saturday morning, and began walking to the Skytrain station. A man standing on the curb interrupted our powerwalk with a jovial, "Excuse me, can you spare some change so that I can buy some marijuana and smoke that marijuana?"

We are so accustomed to the seemingly fabricated stories of 'I need money to buy a bus ticket so that I can get to Saskatchewan to visit my dying aunt's 17 year old cat with three legs and an eyepatch' or similar tales of woe, that this was such a refreshing and honest line from a panhandler, I almost wanted to give him money... in the end though, we didn't, because buying and smoking marijuana should not be a priority in your life if you have to ask for money to get it. No judgement for what side of the weed debate you stand on, just saying if you're begging for it, you've got bigger problems to solve, dude.

Photos below: View from our hotel (24th floor of the Sheraton Wall Centre) taken with the D300 at night, and iPhone photos of the various fooding adventures we went on during our stay. We ate so much shellfish and other sea life, I'm pretty certain scientists will be worrying about a strange epidemic of anorexia amongst whales soon. Fear not, David Suzuki, they haven't contracted eating disorders, there's just no food left for them.

Ottawa by night

Back from a couple days riding the not so fresh snow at Sunshine and Lake Louise. I'm sore, but not nearly as bad as I expected, considering I have the physical fitness of a 73 year old... I guess it was good to take it easy towards the end of our second day. You know, that time when your mind is saying "ONE MORE MOGULS RUN", but your legs are saying, "FUUUUCK YOU!!"

Currently, I'm in Ottawa, tickled pink by the fact that the Sheraton has finally joined the ranks of 2006 (ie: that time when every OTHER hotel chain offered complimentary in-room wifi). Went for a short stroll tonight and snapped a few shots with the iPhone (first time in years I'm not travelling with a real camera). Enjoy.

Fabricland Self Amusement

Anita's new hobby apparently is 'sewing', and that meant an obligatory trip to Fabricland this past weekend. And while she was scrounging through the remnants discount bin, I was forced to entertain myself by choosing between taking photos of random abstract textures inside the store or stabbing myself in the eye with a stitch ripper. I think I made the right choice. Didn't have a real camera with me, so these were all taken with the iPhone and Shake-it app.

DOMO!!

I got my iPhone 4S yesterday, and my first impulse was to test out a simulated super8 cam app I got. This video is absolutely WTF retarded, but I kind of like it. Especially the end when you hear Anita say in Chinese, "Whaaa?? You'll scratch your phone!"