Thursday, July 16, 2009

The Hate Parade: Yin

They say patience is a virtue. I don't necessarily agree, but I do think that impatience is certainly the downfall of man. Where is this coming from, you ask? Well let me start by introducing exhibit A, a photo of Dominika showing off her superhuman strength by lifting this dead tree. You will first notice that it is a photo where the picture extends beyond the sprocket holes. This means that it was a 35mm film photo taken on a medium format camera (a Holga, in this case). The second thing you will notice is that there is a funny looking line running vertically through the photo on the right side. This means that the negative was cut, and that I had to gingerly piece it back together on my flatbed scanner's glass to get it to scan and align.

Ciężki  (Heavy)

So back to my lesson about impatience. I shot a roll of Kodak BW400CN through the Holga this weekend, and decided to take it in to Superstore for some 1 hour developing. Fatal error number 1. I explained that I needed the negatives uncut because the frames are irregularly spaced (as is expected with a holga), and non-standard sized for 35mm. Of course Mr. Teenage Punk behind the counter assures me that there is nothing to worry about - the lab cuts the film by hand, and will know to work around what I've described. And I take his word for it. Fatal error number 2.

So I go away for an hour, and come back to find the film has been processed, cut, and placed neatly into a sheet of negative strip holders. Except, the douchebag at the lab decided that he was going to cut the things blindfolded... and quite possibly using his feet to manoeuvre the scissors. Because there is no other way to explain how he managed to cut right through multiple frames that were clearly PHOTOS and NOT spaces between photos! It's not like he was trying to cut the strips to a standard length either (which could explain the above). Some strips were long, some were short, and some were so long that they stuck out of the end of the negative holder. Clearly, one would have to go out of their way to screw up a cutting job this badly! I stood dumbfounded for a few minutes as I stared at the massacre and injustice committed to this poor roll of Holga sprocket shots. I even pondered marching my hate parade up to the photo lab to punch the douchebag responsible in the junk repeatedly... and then going to town with the very scissors he effed up my film with. Luckily reason prevailed, and I came to the conclusion that it was my fault for being impatient, and downright STUPID for choosing Superstore over somewhere with a more distinguished photofinishing department. I should have waited and dropped this roll off along with the 2 rolls of 120 film that I was going to take to my regular professional lab downtown for processing the next day... but nooooo, I HAD to see something NOW.

So there you go - don't be impatient like me, or you'll end up in pieces like Dom up there.

1 comment:

  1. That sucks dude.
    But I really love the look of the photo going out past the sprocket holes, that's really cool.