Friday, July 3, 2009

...pigs having sex...

Sometimes, I think we fail to take stock of the amazing times we live in - an age where information is instantly at our fingertips, and anything you desire to learn is freely available. I mean, sure the internet is also chock full of phony info, hoaxes and other random shit that you can't trust, but most of the time, you're going to get what you need just by googling it. You type in a question, you get an answer. For instance, the last time Megan, Russell, Anita and I sat down together, we had a conversation about the mechanics of pigs... having sex. So I googled Pigs having sex (purely for educational reasons), and voila, wikipedia came to the rescue, along with a few dozen pages that I would suggest you not try viewing. And then, the other day at work, the subject of Michael Jackson's kids came up - I didn't believe my coworker when she said that his third kid was named Blanket. Google again, confirmed that this was indeed the name Michael would affectionately use to refer to said child. Curious about whether the town of Dildo, Newfoundland really exists? How about neighbouring Spread Eagle, Newfoundland? Google Maps even points them out to you. While out for a leisurely stroll tonight, I had a random thought - could you crazy glue two bottles of crazy glue together (considering that it doesn't stick to the inside of it's own bottle)? Amazingly, I type in that very question into google, and there is a page on one of those '' type sites that featured my very question. (The answer is because the glue requires oxygen to form the bond, so when it's sealed inside your fairly airtight bottle, it doesn't stick to itself or the walls of the bottle). Who knew?

So now I think, with all this info available to all of us at anytime we so desire it, why are there still so many ignorant F-CKING stupid people effing up our everyday lives???! Answer me THAT, google!

While typing this out, and trying to find some unifying theme to this post, I realized that if you look at my iPhone's google search history, you'll find the search terms 'pigs having sex', 'Michael Jackson's kids', 'Dildo & Spread Eagle', and 'Crazy glue'. And they thought David Carradine was a pervert...

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