Sunday, March 25, 2012

Middle Aged Folks Having Sex

So our stay in Montreal was a pretty awesome time. You know what wasn't awesome though? The paper thin walls of our hotel, Le Centre Sheraton, in the downtown core. The worst part happened over a 2 night span in which a middle aged couple checked into the room next to ours. I have no way to visually confirm that they were middle aged, or that they were even in fact a couple, as I did not see them. But due to said paper thin walls, I was able to hear EVERYTHING. They sounded like they were in their mid forties (you can usually get a sense of age from the pitch of a person's voice when they talk). And then they started doing it. IT. EYE period TEE period. It kind of sounded like 1 part pleasure, and 3 parts 'drought stricken villagers sacrificing a yak for a god's mercy'. And it was loud. The woman's "OOOHHHAAHHH AAAHHHHH" that marked the ending to their 37 second copulation session on the first night was awkward and hilarious at the same time. I couldn't stop thinking that the book and movie title "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" seemed really fitting for our position as the unwitting neighbours next door who failed to stock up on ear plugs before a trip. I actually have no idea what that book/ movie is about, but they should just rewrite it to a story about a middle aged couple that have sex really really loudly in hotels, and the poor neighbours stuck awkwardly trying to tune them out.

Can you tell I'm bored and killing time in the Winnipeg airport at the moment?

So anyways, on the second night, the couple decided they were going to do EYE period TEE period again for about 40 seconds, and so we again heard the woman's loud OOOOOHHAAHHHH AAAHHHHH, followed by the dude's even louder AAAAOOOHHHH a couple seconds later. And then all was quiet. Then I thought, maybe "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Gross" would be a better title for being stuck in the room next door…

Okay, lots of photos from our trip to come soon. Cheers,

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